Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry and the dark narrative of the brothers Qabil and Habil (Cain and Abel), is introduced in the Quran as the moral consequence of murder on all of mankind.

The capacity for sibling rivalry to develop into a deadly force is detailed in the Quran’s account of Prophet Yusuf, and his ten older brothers, who envied the love he received from their father.

All ten brothers conspired against Yusuf, overpowered him, and threw him into a deep well, after agreeing not to murder him.

“O my dear son! Do not relate your dream to your brothers lest they devise an evil scheme against you”.                  (Quran 12:5)

The Quran reveals the key motivator in cases of sibling rivalry, as the love or approval of a parent, and the toxic power of envy. Parents are to be generous when expressing their love equally among their descendants, in order to prevent envy.

Some western Muslims believe this is especially true in cases where parents favour the eldest child; or prefer sons over daughters in terms of receiving precious family heirlooms, the family business, and inheritance. It’s also customary for sons to receive high-priced educations whilst daughters are not educated beyond high-school.

It is said that the Prophet Muhammad denied parents from offering gifts to one sibling (child or adult) without giving the same or similar gift to the other children.

“My father gave me a gift of some of his wealth… my father went to Allah’s Apostle and said ‘I have given a gift to my son from ‘Amra bint Rawaha, but she ordered me to make you as a witness to it, O Allah’s Apostle!’ Allah’s Apostle asked, ‘Have you given to everyone of your sons?’ ‘No’ he said. Allah’s Apostle said, ‘Feaf Allah and treat your children justly’. So my father returned and took back the gift”.               

(Hadith - Sahih Al Bukhari)